Diary of a Real Girlfriend

Thanks for joining me on this adventure as I start a new life of blogging! Thanks to some of you who have whispered in my ear how exciting this venture could be! I am looking forward to sharing a new world with all of you - my nearests, closests, and bestests. I can already envision Saturday mornings being complete after a morning run, a cup of the flavor of the day and sharing some life happenings and thought nuggets with all of you! Ooo... I'm getting excited already and I hope you are too. I'll try not to get too foolish where you'll use it against me when I'm president of some women's college or principal of an all girls school but let's be real... most of what I say won't be tooo far from the truth haha. Just kidding. If it is far from the truth, don't be afraid to put me back on track. After all isn't that what real girlfriends do?

Anywho, to the topic of the week...Girlfriends. I know. What a shocker. During the summer I have a few more evenings at home to curl up on the couch. Naturally, amidst answering emails and parousing through facebook, I tend to have something on TV in the background. After trying out Single Ladies, a new drama series on VH1, I nearly couldn't pick my jaw up from the floor when I saw how they portrayed the women around our ages on the show. The scene starts off with 3 girls and their guys....already it has become very cliche. One is married but she's cheating on him. One is a retired video vixen and self-actualized hot mess who gives it up to any cute thang with a dangalang. She says she doesn't believe in love - just money and sex. Next! The third is boo'd up for a brief moment before her boyfriend of 5 years rejects her ultimatum of marriage or else with the phrase "If you like it then you better put a ring on it". Come on ladies. The title of the show had Beyonce's anthem written all over that junk. What a start to a web of drama... that yes... I sat through, watched, and tweeted about. Sue me but it got me thinking. What has happened to the portrayal of women on television?

That brings us to reality television. Now I'd like to think I live in reality. Can I get an amen? Ahh yes. You do too. You and me? I'd like to think we have a good relationship. Whichever way we were placed together in the same place at the right time, we work and it continues to be a great journey of love and happiness. Now, this doesn't mean that it's been a smooth road for all girlfriends out there but I can't say that I could name 6 or 7 friends who would provide any tv show with enough drama and cat fighting as we see on today's reality television. One or two on a random bad day or week or so but for an entire season? Wow.

Let's see... we've got Real Housewives of -- insert name of state/city/county--,  Basketball Wives, Bridezilla (shout out to my fave zilla), and let's not forget Bad Girls Club. So ok...I have been a victim of watching some of these reality shows and I have been caught up in the lives of these women fostering what I like to call arranged tv relationships. Howevah! Sometimes I wonder if the behavior that is depicted by some of these women encourage our young ladies and young women to behave this sort of way and uphold this as a norm. I think it is definitely ok to have one or two shows out there for entertainment purposes, maybe even developmental purposes for the individuals who are filmed (and relaxation for stressed out grad students who just want to be addicted to something on tv that will relax their minds...not saying I was one of them...haha) but I guess I question the balance. If we have those shows, where have the depictions of quality women gone?

Funny I asked that question after an evening of flipping through reality shows because the next day, there it was. Girlfriends. The show depicted all that real girlfriendship was about! Learning how to forgive, trust and stand by a friend in need. Accepting of the person you have become after the trials you have overcome.  It had everything today's television misses out on. That wasn't the only show that had a realistic view of girlfriends. I think of Martin with Pam and Gina, Friends with Rachael, Monica and Phoebe, or Gilmore Girls with Rory and Lane. Sure there was guy drama sprinkled here and there but it never rocked the boat of the friendships and values that each woman stood for... at least not too much.

Where has the dignity gone in the portrayal of women and their relationships? Do I dare ask for Kelsey Grammar to arrive back on the scene? Lord knows I can't think of the last time I tipped over a table at a civilized dinner (Real Housewives of NJ) or knocked pans around the house to wake everyone up. I didn't even do that at the J-House! (Bad Girls' Club reference). We all have fight in us but it's not always directed at the woman standing next to us like tv makes it out to be. I'd like to think I'm lucky to have women like you by my side to cheer me on, help me up, and if I mess up hearing you say "listen" or "get it together" or "fix your face" or the give the hug and encouragement I need to get back up again etc. In my reality, things are nothing like tv reality and although this doesn't make me a star or diva like Nene Leakes, I'm glad I can sit back and know I'm surrounded by love.

Beyonce says we run the world...strong enough to bear children then get back to business. Sure wish reality tv made it seem that way. Right now, our televised representatives of our gender are strong enough to break up marriages, long-term friendships, some China and then get back to our drink we didn't finish. Something to think about.

Today's blog - brought to you by Mixto Sangria...only one glass guys! Sheesh. :)