For example, there isn't a week that goes by without thinking about what else I could get done on my 30 before 30 list because time is upon us. I turn the big 3-0 just under 128 days. You may be asking, "My Jem, that is quite specific of you to not be specific." Well yes, because a day more important than my birthday (and lots of other days probably combined) is also on the horizon and 128 days away... little Harrison's arrival! As I typed my last blog, who knew that I was a few weeks, or days, away from hosting the biggest party of my life in my very own belly!
The excitement is real folks. So is the anxiety! Perhaps this is normal but during your first pregnancy, you just kinda feel like you're just hoping you can make it to the next week without any complications, hoping your eating the right things, remembering experiences of those close to you and not so close and wondering if their situations will happen to you and so much more. Naturally I have decided to write about it week by week in my little Pregnancy Journal. So much of this is a very personal journey and while I have what I like to call a close family and friends circle, sometimes I hesitate in sharing too much. To me, pregnancy is such a fragile state and you can never really know what's going on until you see the baby hence I hesitate to share as much as I see many new moms do.
Have no fear though! I am certainly loving every bit of being pregnant at this moment (honeymoon 2nd trimester much?) and enjoying the quiet time that people say I will no longer have one day. It's as though I have a little companion who hangs out with me all day. If I'm left alone for too long, you'll hear me talking to little Harri and in my head, he always talks back. Most often with the "Umm Mom, really?" Haha. Hey, I accept being an imperfect pregnant mom who is trying her best. This should not be where perfectionist habits reside because so much of this miracle happening is not under our control. God certainly showed us this by choosing His own timing on this one and we have let it go to let God since that 3am bathroom break when I shrilled "BrAAAAAAAAd" from the bathroom so he could check if we had a plus sign. Who knew? And there started the journey...
There have been highs and lows as any new chapter of your life brings. Some highs have been how amazingly close I have felt to my mom lately, how humbled I am to have so many people who love our baby already, and how I begin to smile when I think about how I get to parent with the best partner I could have ever asked for, just to name a few. Some lows have been figuring out how to learn this new body of mine, failing at prioritize myself, new found frustrations with unfair treatment of women in this country (don't EVEN get me started on maternity leave), my sis being absent from the whole pregnancy and my growing insecurity with my identity as a good friend.
Needless to say, I have pushed through and accept this journey with all its valleys, mountains and plains. So much so, I've got a few things checked off my 30 before 30 that I would like to celebrate!
#2 - Wedding Anniversary in Paris - Our timing with this changed a little last fall when we anticipated a spring semester filled with job searching and preparing to move over the summer, not to mention weddings that we had once played large roles in. So instead of waiting for our wedding anniversary to go abroad, we decided to do it for Valentine's Day. What an amazing time! I journaled in a little book that Brad gave me with my new passport holder. We ended up expanding our dream trip and went to Paris & Rome. We spent a week abroad and I could have easily stayed in Rome, believe it or not, for another week! We did quite a bit of exploring and I couldn't help but fall in love with the culture in Europe. While they go out and about their business, there is a true sense of living life there. From hanging out at the Spanish Steps to hanging out in restaurants for hours in Monmarte. There's lots more to life there - more than people being attached to their phones and an eerie absence of billboards with ads of celebrities, reality tv shows and unnecessary items that sometimes we feel we can't live without.
#16 - Get published - This is no small feat but I was able to break ground and can now reference an article that I co-wrote with my colleague about paperless academic advising. The article came about when I decided to get more involved with NASPA's Student Affairs Partnering with Academic Affairs (SAPAA) Knowledge Community. It has truly become a second professional home to me! So many opportunities to learn from colleagues as well as serve on smaller projects that will eventually make a big impact on our profession. So when the opportunity arose to volunteer to write an article for the Synergy Newsletter, I jumped at it. To be honest, I think the 30 before 30 list was all the push I needed to just go and do it so I did! I haven't read it over again since the first time I saw it in print because I'm nervous I'll find an error but overall, I am pretty darn proud of it.
#19 - Run for Cancer Research in Honor of Dad - There were many races that came and went between the time I promised to do a run for my Dad and this one. Thankfully, I held out long enough to join my friend Carly on the St. Patty's Day Lo-Tide Run/Walk on Saturday, March 15. What made this race so worthwhile was the simple fact that all of the proceeds went to families who are struggling to pay their medical bills for cancer treatment. I am not even sure how they pay for t-shirts and medals but they made it clear that all registration fees go towards families who are impacted by cancer. Carly, her twin boys and I walked the 5k for the people in our lives who suffered or are suffering from cancer. I can't tell you how much this meant to me to be able to do this walk and remember my dad the whole way through. While I am left with a memory, and fond ones at that, I can't help but look for opportunities to help others who are suffering with their loved ones regardless of the potential outcome - remission, cure or passing. I'm so glad I made a difference in this little way and I can't promise that Harri, Brad and I won't be out there next year to do it again.
#26 - No phone/email after 6pm - Last but certainly not least for today's update. I adjusted my expectations on this one a little because I believe my more immediate goal was to create more solid connections with family and friends beyond social media. It's hard to say that this is done without being on the phone and or email when I get home from work because most of the people dearest to me are far away. So with that said, I decided to delete Facebook and Instagram from my phone so that I didn't find myself being updated about people's lives without directly being told or finding out for myself. I've been doing this more or less since we got back from Paris & Rome. If you want to be technical, that is definitely a time where I did not use my phone/email for the most part of that week! It was my effort in being present and soaking it all in. When I saw how everyone savored life there, I found myself craving the same when I returned. To do so, I returned and started emailing, calling, sending letters/cards, skyping and facetiming people who who make my world what it is and what it will be. As a result, Brad and I haven't announced our pregnancy on Facebook or Instagram or even really Twitter. We did our gender reveal video and emailed it to close family and friends. I think this has made me so much more present in my life. While I still shop online and often trigger my creative side by browsing around on the internet using my phone, I just don't feel as pressured to keep up with the Jones', compare my life to others, instead I can simply just be present in the lives of family and friends. It's been great! I do miss Instagram but have been thinking of ways to slim down my followings to make it more meaningful. The same for Twitter. It's a process but a good one to re-prioritize. Just in time huh?
Well, thanks for stopping by! More updates to come in a more timely fashion.
All my love.
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