LOVE this picture. BAHAHA! :)
Whoever thought getting older meant that cognitive dissonance would never rear it's ugly head like it did in undergrad, grad school or teenage years when we were first introduced is crazy. Sometimes, a period of transition in life can make me feel like..
Did I miss something along the way of this journey to grown up life? I probably didn't leave anything too life debilitating behind except for Chickering's friendly reminder that his vectors are cyclical and no one officially...arrives and leaves cognitive dissonance behind.
So with that, enters my newest transition in just about everything. I have had quite the opportunity to reflect on all the changes that I've made in my life in the last few months and have been afforded quite an insight into the life I used to have being with Brad. Working in Housing & Residence Life is quite all consuming... why didn't some of you all tell me?! It's a job I will never regret and will hold near and dear to my heart for many years to come. It's certainly an experience like no other. No doubt about it... but wow...there is something about moving out of that lifestyle into a new one. I believe it's safe to say that it's borderline personal emancipation and social suicide.
Here's why. What comes with a housing lifestyle are many avenues to invite and meet people whom you can share treasured moments, cognitive dissonance, and much more because of the time and heart you put into your work consistently. What often comes as a fault is that your life becomes your work unless you have an immense special power to create a balance that I'm starting to believe was actually "BS" like my old supervisor mentioned. Glimmers of sunlight through cloudy skies don't give you a bright and sunny day but a sky without clouds can. For a long time, my personal life felt like it only got to seep through on days that I probably forced it to. But it was ok for the most part... because the people I worked with, lived with, invented and developed with were my personal life.
Brad and I chatted the other day about how important it is to realize that your job isn't your life. There are times when we can't help it and we can only hope that those are only phases or seasons. We talked a lot about what are reasonable sacrifices you make for your job and what aren't. Sometimes expectations of your employer can go overboard when you are in the business of people. For example, missing your grandparents' anniversary just because of a work committment. It makes you wonder, when you are without this job, what are you truly left with? Hopefully your grandparents that you missed sharing that special moment with, probably those family members that you sadly missed calling on their birthday because of a dire issue you had to address at work, and probably that mentee that you never got to touch base with because someone else's issue took over your emotional capacity that day. Those individuals could still be there... if you're lucky... but the missed memories will not.
To some extent without regret, I made those sacrifices and now that I have entered a new phase of my life in a professional position that is not as consuming, it is still a bittersweet change. Automatically you think, wow - leaving an all consuming yet rewarding job must feel like a relief but in truth it comes with its challenges. My entire life was surrounded with individuals whose lives were intertwined with mine so when I wanted to drop everything and run to fuzzy peach, who do you call? No, not ghostbusters. You can call anyone who is in the all consuming bubble with you. Now, while I have gained somewhat of a personal redemption over my life again, I have lost, to some extent, my old social network. What used to be, isn't anymore.
While I have been re-introduced to my non-job related personal life 3 years later, I find that while I get to do a lot of fun things I missed doing for myself, I have a void of that ongoing in-person personal and social interaction that my job provided me for those 3 years. I am beginning to miss people. Socializing with people. Now that's not to say I don't socialize at work because I do! I enjoy my new work environment and wonder how I got so lucky everyday but it's different because everyone goes home at the end of the day. Before, I never went home. Now I do and aside for my lovely husband, there aren't as many people as I'm used to.
Needless to say, sometimes I feel like I haven't left a job. I feel like I've left a life. So just like my freshman year of college, it's back to managing my emotions about my move towards interdependence and finding interpersonal relationships as a re-establish my identity.
Thanks Chickering.
Elizabeth said to me the other day that one of the biggest reasons why it's hard to make friends when you get older is because of this attitude...
I guess it's time to put away my old ways and venture out from my new square one.
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